Will I Ever Feel That Hunger Again?

Sleeping until noon. No job. No money. No writing, because I suck. No singing because I suck. Worried about buying that piano, because I don’t want to stay in this country, and if I go what do I do? So not playing the piano. No songwriting, because I suck. Art seems dum and pretentious. It’s all shit basically. I’m really really tired all the time, and if that wasn’t enough, WINTER is coming. Winter in Paris is the worst. It’s really cold and depressing, and you don”t even get any snow. Thank God we’ll be in Scandinavia for Christmas…

I know it’ll get better, it just doesn’t feel like it ever will right now. It’s not all that bad obviously, but it drives me insane not earning any money, and not DOING anything. I’m completely paralyzed – can’t move. I’m in this continuum of endless procrastination, because whatever I do it won’t work, it won’t lead anywhere.  If something doesn’t turn up soon, I’ll have to turn to waitressing again. God…. Sorry about the downer post. If I complain I get so ashamed that I’ll just have to do something nice to even out the negative vibes.

Hey you out there! You who are working in a super market, or selling pens, or doing telemarketing! You who spend your nights playing the guitar or writing or painting although you can’t really afford the paint. There are others out there!

Excuse me while I go take a look at that Steve Jobs video again…

*Stay hungy! Stay Foolish!*

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